What They Never Told Us by Gail Lukasik

Author:Gail Lukasik
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781510781139
Publisher: Skyhorse
Published: 2024-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Suddenly, My Entire Story Had Been Blown Up

Jack married in 2004, and soon after they were expecting their first child. During his wife’s pregnancy, she asked him if he wanted to know his medical history, in case the child wanted to know.

Initially, he resisted, but his wife was persistent.

“If I get the paperwork and fill it out, will you sign it?”

Reluctantly, he agreed, convinced nothing would come of it.

“At that point in my life, I didn’t even believe I was adopted anymore. That’s how much of the Kool-Aid I drank. I almost believed my parents were lying to me.” He pauses. “But I also knew it was true. I was adopted. I did always feel different from my adoptive parents.”

Three years after submitting the paperwork, Jack received a call from a representative from the state concerning his adoption. The woman explained that they’d just picked up his file and had some leads. She would let him know if anything came of it. Jack was secretly hoping it wouldn’t work out.

Three days later, the representative called and said that they’d found his mother and had talked to her.

“The woman said, ‘Here’s her name, her email, and phone number. She sounds very cool. Give her a call. And there’s something else: One of your parents is African American.”

“I just wasn’t surprised,” Jack says. “I guess I was in too much shock that I found my mother because I felt that my subconscious mind knew that.”

Jack went home and googled his mother, who had a webpage. When he saw her photo, he said, “Those are my eyes.”

Other than seeing himself in his daughter, this was only the second time in Jack’s life that he’d experienced genetic mirroring. He also discovered that his mother’s family came on the Mayflower.

“I say in the first chapter of my book that if you’re Italian in Erie, PA, you’re automatically Catholic, a democrat, a Yankees fan, and then American. As far as your identity goes, that’s pretty inclusive—ethnicity, country of origin, political affiliation, religious beliefs, and sports teams. So within an hour, I’ve got this English settler of privilege. Then, oh yeah, the other parent is African American and came on a slave ship from Africa.” He’s smiling and laughing at the irony.64

“Suddenly, my entire story had been blown up.” When he says this, I see a sadness in his eyes. His Italian American identity was gone.

The next day he called his birth mother.

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